The Final Insult

I know I am getting tatty, you would too if you had been:

• Run over by a steamroller
• Shot with a 9mm pistol (two seperate occaisions)
• Set Fire To
• Hung by a rope
• Squashed by a tank

Any many more unspeakable ills, many at the hands of those Dangerous Danes. But I don't like to complain, in general I am a happy soul and the state of my attire doesn't stop my real fans from loving me.

But this is the final insult, when in South America recently, we saw a tramp rumaging through the bins and his red vest was in better condition than me!