I just want to die

Once I was an object of ridicule and hatred, however I thought that was all behind me, but now I feel so unloved I just want to curl up and die.

I started life somewhere in Vietnam crafted by people to whom I was just a number. A man did once show me a little bit more attention but that turned out to be just someone who had the ability to throw me on the rejects pile, luckily I made the grade, I was on my way.

Then I was put in a cellophane wrapper and stored in a box with some of my siblings. It was dark, and dreary and conversation was a bit muffled, but I still had hope, something good was going to happen I just knew it.

Then one day we found ourselves at a party with lots of very intelligent people who knew how to have a laugh and I thought, this is it, I am about to start my life properly. But I was wrong, as we were handed out to these wonderful people, the laughter stopped, they opened the cellophane, took us out, and quietly said 'that's nice' - you could tell they were only being polite, and when the party was over we heard nothing but ridicule from our new owners.

I was thrown in a suitcase and then on arrival home, my new owner tossed me into a dark cupboard and forgot about me. Then after a year I was suddenly back in the suitcase. It turns out the plan was to kill me, and I am not exaggerating - I found out my brother had been executed by some random danish person a few weeks before in San Francisco and I was to suffer the same fate. But miracles (get it?) do happen and everyone fell in love with me and my new life began. I got a name - Stanley, I got friends, yes they laughed at me, yes they did rotten things to me including the steam roller incident, but they loved me and I was happy. Since then I have travelled the world, met with important people (especially Mickey), ridden a camel, you can read all about my adventures in this blog. I was such a lucky vest.

I spent a few months with random people and then I went to live with Debra, she is a sad, lonely person and we were so good for each other, we had a ball. But she is a generous, wonderful person and nothing is too much trouble for her and when asked if I could go away on a diving holiday with two of our friends, Dan and Mogens (he killed my brother, but I have almost forgiven him), Debra reluctantly gave me up and Dan took me home.

Dan, has to be fair been good to me, he took me to work on his first day at Oracle, he took me to Disney and his wonderful wife Beth made sure I had everything I needed. As the holiday to Iceland grew closer I was so excited, I have never been to Iceland and never been diving, Dan is a Dive Master and I knew I was to be in good hands.

Then today when I woke up, Dan had gone and I was still here, he had gone without me, abandoned me, thought only of himself, kicked sand in my face, teased me, I could go on, but to be honest I can't describe how I feel, just be aware that if I could swallow I would have taken all the pills I could find, if I had wrists I would have slashed them, I hate myself and just want to die, this is the ultimate betrayal. I would have been better off in that reject pile.