Stanley's dive vacation

As I've been working very hard and non-stop since leaving my homeland Vietnam, Debra and Dan finally relented and allowed me to go on vacation. It just so happened that Dan was headed on a scuba vacation (surprise!) with my friend Mogens. It was a live aboard trip which means that you board a boat from land and then spend the entire trip on the boat where your only priorities are eating, sleeping, diving, and occasionally having one drink (after finishing diving for the day, of course).

My adventure continued on this trip. I did go on several dives and Dan snapped a few pictures of me meeting some new friends. First, Mogens wanted to have (another) picture taken with me (who doesn't really?).

I got to meet a great looking barracuda who didn't look very friendly, but also didn't seem the least bit interested in me (which is unusual--most other beings are very interested in me).


There was one part of the trip that made me a little uncomfortable, but no one else seemed to mind much. That was when my new friend Anne made her 300th dive somewhere in the middle of the trip. To celebrate, my friends took their scuba gear and me on a "special" dive. They didn't take anything else ifyouknowwhatImean. It was all good fun and I served as a witness and also as a rash guard for Mogens on this "special" dive. Luckily, the water was warm, so I didn't get cold and my friends enjoyed "hanging out" too.It was very strange, but other than Dan and Mogens, most of the people on the boat didn't really have much interest in meeting me or having photos taken with me. I guess sometimes it's nice not to be a celebrity and enjoy just blending in with the rest of the crowd.

Of course, in their endless pursuit to cause me some pain on every trip, there was an incident where I took a little good-natured abuse. See for yourself.


I didn't go on every dive, but if I did, I would have been glad not to have any pants since I would have peed them when Dan caught this video.

I'm very excited about my trip to OOW09 coming up in about a month. I recently spent a few days in a very small space and traveled all the way back to my friend Debra in Belfast, so I'll have to share some of that experience soon.

Father's Day Weekend

If I knew who my father was, I would spend it with him, but I don't. I have told you before I was born in Vietnam and immediately I was taken away along with my siblings, I never knew my parents, but that makes the bond between us siblings all the greater.

SO this weekend is very special for me, I have a reunion with my siblings at ODTUG in Monterey and Tuesday we have a big ACE party. I have tried not to get too excited, after the disappointment of Iceland or rather NOT Iceland, I have tried to restrain the excitement until it really happened.

So my post yesterday was all about the excitement building, and I mentioned how I was stuck in Chicago. I honestly thought it was going to happen again and I would miss the big event. Why am I so unlucky?

The ACEs travelled to Monterey on a bus and then ODTUG gave them a VIP reception. I missed the party - (and did I tell you about the party I went to with my new friend Anna? I must post the photos of that sometime).

One or two of my siblings (see Sten Vesterli here showing off one of my brothers) even came out to sample the bar. Debra tells me that they have aged better than me, but I think they have simply be closeted, they have had no experience of life like I have, and do they know how difficult it is to get tarmac, food or even sulphur mud out???

Having spent the day following #ACED on twitter, the evening was all about following Dan on twitter, would he or wouldn't he make the flight? (Let him think people cared about Him, really they just cared about me). Anyway I arrived at 4am-ish, no welcome party for me. Just a few hours sleep and then it is the Community Service Day.

Kept in the dark as normal

Today is the ACE Director briefing in Redwood. All my friends are there and I am missing them. If Dan had not joined Oracle and been forced to give up his ACE credntials (have I told you how I hate this), then I, the great and famous Stanley would be there.

What am I missing? Well from a product point of view I don't know, no one will tell me, they are under an NDA (Non Disclosure Agreement) until July 1st. Don't people understand, I never speak when I asked not to (actually I just don't speak).

But what I am missing is the craic (Debra taught me this word, it is Irish for 'a great time'). Everyone has been 'tweeting' with the tag #ACED and I wish I was part of it.

I hear a few of my siblings are there ready for the big reunion this week at ODTUG. They are still at the Sofitel having their own party in the luggage store.

But where am I? Well Dan is waiting to see if the storms in Chicago means he will not get here tonight, he is currently on standby but things are not looking good. I have been stuffed into a bag and checked in. Does Dan not know that if I was with him, the airline would not only get him a seat but probably upgrade him! The indignity of it all. However at least Dan remembered to bring me this time.

Looking forward to the ACE Vest Reunion

I hope if you are one of the original ACE Directors you know there is a reunion for Stanley's siblings during ODTUG.

I hope you plan to be there.

I did suggest taking a sibling and perhaps cutting it up to give each person a 'little bit of Stanley'. After all the reason behind Stanley is that no-one, oops very few people actually wore / wear the red vest with the bl***y big ACE on the back.

But one person will not be giving up his red vest, I am not going to give his name, what he does in bed is his own business and I don't want to out him by name, but this is one of the replies I received:

Have my original red vest? You've got to be kidding? I love my red vest, I treasure my red vest, I sleep with it every night.

I miss Stanley and am looking forward to being reunited with him next week. I love Stanley even, but be assured sharing my bed with Stanley is a step too far.

I just want to die

Once I was an object of ridicule and hatred, however I thought that was all behind me, but now I feel so unloved I just want to curl up and die.

I started life somewhere in Vietnam crafted by people to whom I was just a number. A man did once show me a little bit more attention but that turned out to be just someone who had the ability to throw me on the rejects pile, luckily I made the grade, I was on my way.

Then I was put in a cellophane wrapper and stored in a box with some of my siblings. It was dark, and dreary and conversation was a bit muffled, but I still had hope, something good was going to happen I just knew it.

Then one day we found ourselves at a party with lots of very intelligent people who knew how to have a laugh and I thought, this is it, I am about to start my life properly. But I was wrong, as we were handed out to these wonderful people, the laughter stopped, they opened the cellophane, took us out, and quietly said 'that's nice' - you could tell they were only being polite, and when the party was over we heard nothing but ridicule from our new owners.

I was thrown in a suitcase and then on arrival home, my new owner tossed me into a dark cupboard and forgot about me. Then after a year I was suddenly back in the suitcase. It turns out the plan was to kill me, and I am not exaggerating - I found out my brother had been executed by some random danish person a few weeks before in San Francisco and I was to suffer the same fate. But miracles (get it?) do happen and everyone fell in love with me and my new life began. I got a name - Stanley, I got friends, yes they laughed at me, yes they did rotten things to me including the steam roller incident, but they loved me and I was happy. Since then I have travelled the world, met with important people (especially Mickey), ridden a camel, you can read all about my adventures in this blog. I was such a lucky vest.

I spent a few months with random people and then I went to live with Debra, she is a sad, lonely person and we were so good for each other, we had a ball. But she is a generous, wonderful person and nothing is too much trouble for her and when asked if I could go away on a diving holiday with two of our friends, Dan and Mogens (he killed my brother, but I have almost forgiven him), Debra reluctantly gave me up and Dan took me home.

Dan, has to be fair been good to me, he took me to work on his first day at Oracle, he took me to Disney and his wonderful wife Beth made sure I had everything I needed. As the holiday to Iceland grew closer I was so excited, I have never been to Iceland and never been diving, Dan is a Dive Master and I knew I was to be in good hands.

Then today when I woke up, Dan had gone and I was still here, he had gone without me, abandoned me, thought only of himself, kicked sand in my face, teased me, I could go on, but to be honest I can't describe how I feel, just be aware that if I could swallow I would have taken all the pills I could find, if I had wrists I would have slashed them, I hate myself and just want to die, this is the ultimate betrayal. I would have been better off in that reject pile.

A New Concept - Friend of Stanley

In previous posts Stanley has attracted many fans. In this photo you can see the husband of Margaret Mills from Oracle Australia who really bonded with Stanley in this photo taken in the Rocky Mountains. Stanley even has his own fan page on facebook.

And now a special 'Friend of Stanley' has been born. Stanley phoned me the other day (I hope Dan that your new employer does not mind overseas calls) and asked if Mrs Norris could as a special accolade be a guest writer on this blog. Of course she could and hasn't she done well!

Mrs Norris will be the voice of Stanley for a few weeks more until Stanley attends ODTUG, where he will have a reunion of his siblings. So if you own an original Red Vest please let me know.

Parting is such sweet sorrow

Stanley is not mine, he is simply the symbol of the ACE Director community but he has spent six months with me as I have travelled the world spreading the Software Gospel (I think that is what you do as an evangelist).

I knew it was coming and I thought I was prepared but when it was time to hand Stanley over to Dan Norris it was a fight.

Stanley started his ACE life with Dan, and Dan's wife Beth has promised to post some of Stanley's childhood episodes on the blog soon.

Although the ACE Program is excellent it like all others does have a few a little issue, Oracle employees cannot be ACE Directors, and Dan starts work with Oracle in a few weeks and will have to give up his title. I find this really sad as he will not give up his input into the user community. But what this does mean is that Stanley will get to accompany Dan on his first day at Oracle and I look forward to hearing about that.

I am trying to be brave but it was a real wrench both physically and spiritually and not without a few tears.

However we will be reunited at Kaleidescope the ODTUG conference in just 5 weeks and there will be a Stanley Siblings Reunion, Make sure you are there!

Stanley and the Hulk(s)

Off to Universal for the big Collaborate09 party. First ride is the incredible hulk, difficult to take photos I am afraid,

1 - the picture is set up and
2 - very afraid of Duncan Mills seen here with the great Tim Tow.

Wildlife in Orlando

Stanley was minding his own business going to the OAUG VIP party at the Peabody in Orlando when he was viciously attacked without provocation. The alligator was bad enough but Andy and Jeff from EIS is pure cruelty to Stanley. There are no photos of the two guys as their shirts were so bad and I have readers to protect.


The at the Hotel the famous Peabody Ducks came out to play and without hesitation made straight for the most famous VIP of them all.

From Rock to Classical

Having rocked with the best last night, Stanley wanted to show that he is cultured and turned to more classical music.



Here you can see and hear him play a classical piece on the piano accompanied by Ms Nadia Bendjedou who would be a super ACE Director if only she was not Oracle.

Stanley continues to amaze his fans.

Stanley in Love (Again)

Having had a holiday romance in New Zealand Stanley has been a bit sad, but at Collaborate he has found the woman of his dreams.

It appears they met at the QUEST ' Geek Meet' but the pictures here are at an ODTUG party.

The lady in question isn't saying much but it appears her name is 'IO' which is either really cool in a binary sort of way, or as the restaurant waiter suggested one of the rings of Saturn.

Either way this is a romance we will be monitoring.

Stanley in Trouble Again

Having been to the beach in Australia Stanley he sneaked off with some sand as a souvenier, not a big issue until you realise he has to get past Homeland Security on entering the US today, so when asked to turn out his pockets guess what they would have found?

Stanley is in Love

Having been allowed out in New Zealand Stanley was on a high and yesterday we visited a Maori village that had been buried in a volcano over 100 years ago.

Stanley met a local Maori Vest and fell in love but he will have to pine, he had to fly to the US today and leave her behind. If you see Stanley at Collaborate be gentle with him.

Can Stanley Come Out to Play

The purpose of Stanley's travels is to support the Oracle ACE community, so it is not enough simply to take him somewhere, there needs to be either an Oracle or Usergroup Conference or a meeting of 2 or more ACE's to qualify. So when I left Australia for a few days in New Zealand catching up with an old friend before going out to Collaborate I expected Stanley to stay in the suitcase. Then my friend took me to dinner with some colleagues of hers' and it became a regular 10.7 appreciation society so Stanley got to come out and play.

SO I took Stanley to see some of the fantastic sights of New Zealand and he really loved the volcanic action.

As you can see Stanley can go 'where no man can go'.

Update on the 'stretchy thing'

So having asked lots of people what the 'stretchy thing' is meant to be, I had put it to one side and await the consignment that Oracle Sweden have sent me back in Ireland and that I will distribute later.

Whilst in Australia I met up with my daughter. Her first comment when seeing my hotel room was 'I don't believe you have that rag with you here!' and made me promise I would not take it to where she is on an internship. I hated leaving Stanley behind but Daniel Strassberg looked after him.(More about that in a minute).


However my daughter spotted the 'stretchy thing' and said 'What a cool buff' apparently you wear them to stop your hair getting tangled in outdoor pursuits. Obvious isn't it!

And back to Mr Strassberg - I caught him feeding Vegemite on weetabix to Stanley, how gross, Marmite on Toast yes but not Vegemite.

Pampering to my tastes

Before we left Australia I stayed with Daniel Strassberg of QUEST and his family, they asked me what I wanted to do and I admitted I was a 'Home and Away' fan, so they took me and Stanley to the beach where it is filmed. I was so excited and although he didn't say it out loud I know Stanley was too.



The beach is gorgeous and as Nadia Bendjedou had already left so the sun came out (I am sure I have told you that whenever Nadia and I are at a conference together it rains so look out Orlando).

So a little bit of self indulgence but that is fine, Dan Norris and Mogens Norgaard are taking Stanley diving

Stanley is simply too famous

Some of the ACE community are jealous of Stanley and one has gone beyond the norm to upstage him.

Stanley doesn't mind, any press is good press as they say.

Check out Daniel Morgan's home page

If you want Stanley to model for your web page or blog he is available.

Stanley Down Under

I was lucky enough to be asked to present at Insync 09 in Australia and it was a great conference. Stanley was not at his best he had been in a suitcase for a week whilst I was in Japan and he was grumpy. I suppose I could have taken him to Oracle Japan but I was not sure he would be appreciated and on the day I visited, Larry was there, perhaps I should have asked Larry if he reads this blog.

Anyway back to Australia and Sydney, Stanley played poker and actually the great big ACE on his back we hate is not too bad in a poker game and he didnt do too bad.



Then Stanley decided to do the sites and he went on the Sydney monorail and walked across (not over) the harbour bridge. Stanley loved Australia but it was over too soon and he was expecting another long stay in the suitcase until we reached Collaborate....

One hump or Two?

Before I tell you about the special treat for Stanley in Dubai, let me tell you about the fun we got up to once Connection Point had finished and we went out into the desert.


For me personally it was hell, I hate theme parks (and no comments about the ride at Disney Land Paris for the Oracle Kick Off last year), so the idea of a dune safari was not high up the list, and it was the worst fair ground ride I have ever been on. I felt as green as Stanley is red although friends tell me I actually had no colour at all.

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Our driver Omar (who insists his surname is Sharif) was good enough to look after Stanley when I could not, and this 'who should wear Stanley' became quite contagious and next was a camel farmer and finally a camel got in on the act as well.


Several people tried sand boarding or sledging and this time Stanley was not the sledge! Here is James Hobbs of OAUG having a go.

Oh and remember the Oracle 'stretchy thing'? It makes a good headband to keep your shemag headdress on with in the desert. Although if you want to do it the correct way, I have a video with Oracle's Cliff Godwin with the simple guide. Oracle Sweden are sending me some more so if you can come up with a great idea let me know and I might give one away.

Could Stanley soon be homeless?

Stanley likes to travel, and if he doesn't he gets restless and may one day wander off on his own. I have tried my best to keep him happy and have taken him to many places since I took temporary control at Christmas. Just to keep Stanley occupied I am even taking him on a world tour starting at Easter, Stanley will visit Japan including a visit to Oracle Japan, Australia for Insync09, New Zealand and finish up at Collaborate09. From then till ODTUG he has nothing planned and would like to spend that month with someone from the ACE community who has some fun plans for that time.

So if you are an ACE, attending both Collaborate and ODTUG and have something to offer Stanley, send me your plans and the best idea gets to keep Stanley for a month. Remember the object is not to spoil Stanley, but to ensure he gets what he deserves and yet survives for another day. Here you can see how he 'accidentally' got thrown out with the trash.

You also need to update his Blog so that all his friends and fans know what he has been upto. Photos are a must.