The Power of Bribery

Normally it is easy for me to make new friends, and people love to be seen with Stanley but occasionally someone comes along who is just not sure about me. This is Viktor, son of my keeper Mogens. He was a little shy at first, and to be fair the house was full of foreign speaking, refugees (more in the next post). Then my keeper Dan Norris showed him the LightSaber game on the iPhone and they became friends for life. Viktor whose English is improving everyday said "I beat Star Wader!" So Debra thought if she downloaded the app Viktor may wear me for a fight to the death. It worked and only cost 59p ($0.99) so only a little bribe.



However a much larger bribe was recently called for when Debra wanted someone else to spend time with me......




I have mentioned before how Debra's daughter thinks of me with distaste, although she has now joined my facebook fan club, and was seen once in a photo with me in Denver. But we have still not bonded properly. So when ODTUG asked for videos to be made for their conference I knew just who I wanted to wear me. However Brooke is a very clever girl and persuaded Debra she would only do it for a bribe. (Brooke has a friend Daniel Strassberg from Quest APAC who has taught her all she knows about bribery). It cost Debra £34 for Brooke to have a bit part in my great video. The music is from Oliver Weers who is phenomenal and was very happy to take part.

Hanging Around in Monterey Part II

I have become quite a fan of Fisherman's Wharf, I think it is something to do with the smell, I do feel really at home there. SO I decided to have a few photos taken to remind me.



As you can see the weather was just beautiful and I had to be careful not to get too much sun, although being from Vietnam I do have some genetic protection.



Debra then decided to walk back the hotel along the beach and was surprised to see that the Monterey Police are still trying to track down the car responsible for my accident last weekend.





Quite a few rules in Monterey but nothing that stops me the world famous ACE Vest from hanging out, doing whatever I want, when I want with friends. Goodbye ODTUG till next year and hope to catch up with a lot of you at Open World.

Stanley Owes His Life to Debra

ODTUG was over and it was finally time to relax, Mike Riley had the President's house with its own pool, so it was time to have a few beers and just chill out with a few people who had yet to go home.





The weather was excellent, it had been a little chilly in the mornings during the conference but it was amazing that afternoon and with a little help from the beer I simply had to have a little nap in the sun.



But I was silly, beer and sun don't mix and very soon I had slid into the pool, and in my drunken daze I could not swim, I was going to drown, me the Great Stanley was going to be yet another casualty to bad living.


But I had nothing to fear, Debra rushed into the pool, caught the life ring from David Peake (Product Manager APEX) and used all her lifesaving skills to rescue me. I didn't even know Debra could swim but it turns out her daughter is a lifeguard and all those hours spent at the pool paid off.

Thankyou Debra and sorry about the glasses, I feel so sorry now.

Stanley Gets His Revenge

I know the original intention was to make me an object to be punished, and do not be mistaken I have, just read the earlier entries in this blog to see some of the things that have been done to me in the name of fun. But sometimes it gets too much and I just want to get my own back. The problem is I am not that fast, I don't often get the opportunity to get my revenge.
However I have one thing in my favour, Debra isn't that quick either! And at ODTUG Monterey she presented me with an opportunity so good I could not resist, could I?

Debra is short sighted and can often be seen with her glasses on her head, but the hats that were provided for ODTUG Ambassadors would not fit with the glasses perched underneath, so she had taken to putting them in her back pocket.

On the Tuesday at ODTUG Debra took a visit to the restrooms and didn't notice the fact that her glasses slipped out of her pocket and into the pan. I did but then took the opportunity to distract her by throwing myself off the coat hook onto the floor. As she reached forward to pick me up she did not turn around immediately and then pushed the handle at the same time she spotted what she initially thought were 'chop stics' in the pan, but not quick enough to stop them flushing away. It didn't take too long for her to realise they were her glasses, I had my revenge. Hee Hee!


SO the next day, Debra Had to get Jesse (shown here with me) to rush her off to an opticians for an emergency pair and then back again later to collect them. Thanks Jesse.

New glasses are a much better suggestion than Mike Riley had, he suggested getting the hotel to see if they had been caught in a filter somewhere. NO THANKS I think Debra prefers the new glasses.

The Big Reunion

Sorry it has taken so long to post this blog, but as my fame spreads I have less time to write.

The big thing for me in Monterey was my sibling reunion, I had no idea how many would make the trip and I was really pleased that the final figure was eight. It was wonderful to see so many and lots of ACEs have promised they will bring theirs to the next event at OOW.

Debra could soon get the sack, or at least her camera could, it is great for video as you can see later in the log but photos that need flash really reflect her drinking habits. So if you have photos of the OTN team wearing Stanley let her know. Her you can see Victoria and Justin and in the video Lilian is wearing Stanley

Best of all was the Eddie Awad choregraphied dance



I wonder if Mogens regrets his murder of the original Red Vest?

Community Service

I am not sure about America, but in the UK Community Service is what you are sentenced to as an alternative to prison time, so when Dan told me that after just 3 hours sleep in Monterey we were on Community Service I was quite concerned. What had I done? Dan I could understand, Debra had mentioned many punishments she had in store for Dan for forgetting to take me to Iceland (have I told you about that?), but as far as I knew I was innocent.
It turns out Community service is what ODTUG does every year before its conference, a day where delegates come together and do their bit whilst having the best time. We met up at 8am and I got to see Debra again, she was so happy. (Don't tell anyone but she is a lonely old girl and having me around is the only friend she has, so if you see us out together, just humour her).

Then off on the buses to the sand dunes, to pull out weeds. You are probably thinking how can an 'armless guy like me e of any use? Well I can, I can carry many weeds as you can see. In the final picture is one of the Directors of the Big Sur Land Trust who we were helping out.

Father's Day Weekend

If I knew who my father was, I would spend it with him, but I don't. I have told you before I was born in Vietnam and immediately I was taken away along with my siblings, I never knew my parents, but that makes the bond between us siblings all the greater.

SO this weekend is very special for me, I have a reunion with my siblings at ODTUG in Monterey and Tuesday we have a big ACE party. I have tried not to get too excited, after the disappointment of Iceland or rather NOT Iceland, I have tried to restrain the excitement until it really happened.

So my post yesterday was all about the excitement building, and I mentioned how I was stuck in Chicago. I honestly thought it was going to happen again and I would miss the big event. Why am I so unlucky?

The ACEs travelled to Monterey on a bus and then ODTUG gave them a VIP reception. I missed the party - (and did I tell you about the party I went to with my new friend Anna? I must post the photos of that sometime).

One or two of my siblings (see Sten Vesterli here showing off one of my brothers) even came out to sample the bar. Debra tells me that they have aged better than me, but I think they have simply be closeted, they have had no experience of life like I have, and do they know how difficult it is to get tarmac, food or even sulphur mud out???

Having spent the day following #ACED on twitter, the evening was all about following Dan on twitter, would he or wouldn't he make the flight? (Let him think people cared about Him, really they just cared about me). Anyway I arrived at 4am-ish, no welcome party for me. Just a few hours sleep and then it is the Community Service Day.

Kept in the dark as normal

Today is the ACE Director briefing in Redwood. All my friends are there and I am missing them. If Dan had not joined Oracle and been forced to give up his ACE credntials (have I told you how I hate this), then I, the great and famous Stanley would be there.

What am I missing? Well from a product point of view I don't know, no one will tell me, they are under an NDA (Non Disclosure Agreement) until July 1st. Don't people understand, I never speak when I asked not to (actually I just don't speak).

But what I am missing is the craic (Debra taught me this word, it is Irish for 'a great time'). Everyone has been 'tweeting' with the tag #ACED and I wish I was part of it.

I hear a few of my siblings are there ready for the big reunion this week at ODTUG. They are still at the Sofitel having their own party in the luggage store.

But where am I? Well Dan is waiting to see if the storms in Chicago means he will not get here tonight, he is currently on standby but things are not looking good. I have been stuffed into a bag and checked in. Does Dan not know that if I was with him, the airline would not only get him a seat but probably upgrade him! The indignity of it all. However at least Dan remembered to bring me this time.

Neglected, but excited for the future

Stanley here. I finally got some keyboard time now that Dan left me alone for a minute. It's been a tough week or two since Debra handed me off to this guy. No one talks to me and I just lay around on the back of a chair for a while. Finally, my home (my UKOUG delegate bag) arrived so the last few days have been a bit more comfortable with some familiar surroundings.

It hasn't been all bad, though. I did get to go to Disney World and meet lots of famous characters. Wish I could have met the princesses, but I think everyone knew how naughty I could be, so I blew my chances there. After we were home, Mrs. Norris gave me a little freshen and I didn't smell quite so strong for a while...hope she comes back with that smell-good stuff.

Looking ahead, I've heard about some great events that I'm going to attend, some of them held in my honor (or honour, depending on where you're from). First, Dan is taking me to visit the fellows from Miracle. I remember them from Miracle Oracle Open World and, a few weeks after, the Miracle Birthday Party where I got a bit soiled (not really my fault). Anyway, we're all meeting in Iceland and I'm going to get to go on my first scuba dive! I can hardly wait. Luckily, I'm made of warm material since I've been advised that the water will be about 4 C (about 40 F), so my warmth will be needed on that trip! I'm sure there will be some highlights posted here after that trip in early June.

After that trip, I'm headed off to a large event where I'll be a distinguished guest. This is the ODTUG Kaleidoscope conference, held this year in Monterey, California. As Dan likes to do, he'll take me scuba diving again, but this time in much warmer water--about 14 C (58 F) in Monterey Bay. Plus, I get to do what I do best: help the community. I'll be providing many types of help to those attending ODTUG's Community Service Day on the Saturday before the conference as well. I'm sure there will be some messes to clean up and I'm made for those types of things.

Uh oh, Dan is about to return, so I'd better slip back into my little home before he catches me. He's been busy with his first week of work at his new job (for which he sacrificed his ACE Director credentials), so he hasn't had much time to play games with me like usual. Maybe next week...

Parting is such sweet sorrow

Stanley is not mine, he is simply the symbol of the ACE Director community but he has spent six months with me as I have travelled the world spreading the Software Gospel (I think that is what you do as an evangelist).

I knew it was coming and I thought I was prepared but when it was time to hand Stanley over to Dan Norris it was a fight.

Stanley started his ACE life with Dan, and Dan's wife Beth has promised to post some of Stanley's childhood episodes on the blog soon.

Although the ACE Program is excellent it like all others does have a few a little issue, Oracle employees cannot be ACE Directors, and Dan starts work with Oracle in a few weeks and will have to give up his title. I find this really sad as he will not give up his input into the user community. But what this does mean is that Stanley will get to accompany Dan on his first day at Oracle and I look forward to hearing about that.

I am trying to be brave but it was a real wrench both physically and spiritually and not without a few tears.

However we will be reunited at Kaleidescope the ODTUG conference in just 5 weeks and there will be a Stanley Siblings Reunion, Make sure you are there!