Saturday, May 21, 2011

Glad I don't have a Face

Sometimes, I feel I have missed out. I don't have a body, or arms or legs or even a face. A few weeks ago I found a face not being used by anyone and I thought 'yes' let me have it. However it was not me so I decided against it, but not before Debra took this photo.

She is just too happy to be doing this

Some people get jealous because they are my fan but not part of the group. Sometimes that means they enjoy hurting me, and one such person is this lady, or rather monster. She decide she has missed out on the opportunity to shot me so before I left she took me out and shot me again with the pistol.

It just isn't fair, I pull myself together each time, but as the amount of fabric diminishes, it is getting harder and harder.

Will I survive all this.

After the pistol and harpoon episode, I tried to pull myself together, but Mogens had more in store for me. Debra tried to stand by me ( if only to operate the camera ) but as you can hear she totally looses it and her language shows just how horrified she was.

Mogens keeps goats with for killing he has a bolt gun. They fired it at me - twice, because the ACE is just so thick or made of Kevlar it stopped the 9mm. The tank commander says they will arrange for ACE vests to be given to troops in Afghanistan as body armour.

Anyway the bolt gun worked and I have two large holes. The perpetrator is shown here, with his face covers for obvious reasons. Luckily I was going to leave these killing fields early the next morning, surely they would leave me alone now....

Stanley has a miracle-ous escape

A cat has 9 lives and it is a good thing I am not a cat or I would simply be dead. I am not sure how many lives a vest has but I am certainly contributing to the research. I was with Mogens recently for his birthday when I nearly died 4 times. I had just recovered from the Tank incident when I was kidnapped, taken to some woods,tied to a tree and blindfolded. Then I was shot twice, with a 9mm pistol, luckily I don't bleed, so I just have holes, including 3 where a single bullet went through folds of my body.

This should be enough for anyone, but now, they took me home and got a former head of the Navy Special Forces, you know the ones who sorted out That guy in Pakistan, to try and kill me with a harpoon, but again the gods smiled on me and the harpoon broke.

I am too traumatised to carry on. I will post the rest soon.