There is Only One Stanley

I had a wonderful welcome in Mainz this week from the German User Group and this is when I am at my happiest, with my fans, although I must say a visit to the Biergarten was also very nice. I am in very high demand but it hasn't always been this way.

When Oracle first gave me to Dan Norris, I was simply thrown in the back of a cupboard, I was unloved and unwanted. I fared better than some siblings who were simply dumped or given away to the homeless in San Francisco. I have told this story many times but the hatred and scorn felt by the ACE Directors towards me and my siblings, led to the death of my brother at the hands of ‘WeDoNotUseUglyRedVests’ Nørgaard.

I too, was sentenced to death, and taken to a place of execution in Denmark during Miracle Open World 2008. But at the very last minute I was given clemency and the penalty was commuted to a life time of hard labour and ritual abuse. My keepers (Debra, Dan & Mogens) thought it would be funny to document this torture and this blog site was born. I had a few followers mainly those who had been around for my Christening , but it was pretty low key.

Then came the ‘steam roller’ incident and I suddenly had a presence on YouTube. Mogens told OTN, he was frightened of what Debra might do if he ever upset her since she had managed to arrange a steam roller for me; (Mogens - Debra says REMEMBER the threat still holds).

Anyway probably too much detail about how I got to be Stanley and you can read the first few blogs or watch the videos if you are new to all this. What I want this post to be about is the power of Web2.0 giving fame to a dirty rag like me.

YouTube, This Blog, My FanClub on Facebook, mentions on twitter and other peoples blogs have made me if not a household name a least a well known name known to the Oracle Community. I am part of the Oracle brand. People actually ask for me. Last summer I was invited to fly with Tim Tow and then the next day he invited Debra, it is me they want. But there is only one of me and my fame and charisma means I am in constant demand. I cannot accept all the invitations and I hate to let my fans down.












I was invited to Hotsos but logistically it was too difficult, I wanted to go to Arnheim on Tuesday for the Benelux User Group but had to be in Dublin Wednesday for Debra's local UKOUG Conference Series Ireland and Frankfurt Thursday for the DOAG. I was invited back to Dubai and Israel and again had to decline.

Logistics have always been difficult, I have been carried through customs tied in many bags after food fights, in a Patron box, I have travelled UPS, first class and in the hold, but I simply can't be everywhere at once. I have promised to go to Norway and yet desperately want to go back to Miracle Open World and then I need to quickly get to Vegas for Collaborate. I just don’t know how I can manage it. I don’t want representatives, I can’t ask friends to go through my pain and humiliation when the ACE community start being cruel and mean to me but at the same time I also don’t want them to have the fun I often have.

My ACE friends talk about how fast Oracle is, the fastest database machine in the world, I know nothing about databases but how about the fastest vest in the world? Here I am helping Nadia show off the top 20 Utilities, one of which must be time travel.